I. Foundations of Meditation: Lovingkindness, Class V 

  1. Check ins 
  2. Welcome: has someone to present their image? 
  3. Friendship: Reflection: p37  “Boundless Heart”

II. The Neutral Person      

  1. These are the people throughout the day that we pay little or less attention to; Our perception is that they are less interesting, so we lose our mindfulness. We are indifferent towards these people. 
  2. This is perception without mindfulness. Perception is based on history of emotions, views, beliefs etc 
  3. Mindfulness: waking up; remembering
  4. We are waking up to how are our preferences keep us blind
  5. Waking up to the neutral person’s aliveness; all of us share the longing to be seen and loved 
  6. This opening to all is a selfless act of generosity, takes courage
  7. Metta the intention to be present with kindness: generosity and open hearted

Free Photo of Ocean Waves Near Seashore during Sunset Stock Photo

III. Guided Neutral Person Meditation Transcript 

  1. Taking a position of alertness and relaxation
  2. And an attitude of gentleness and receptivity
  3. Bringing to mind a situation that is easiest for you to maintain the intention of  metta: the gladdening experience, the benefactor, or the friend
  4. Then bringing to mind someone who is not a strong likable or dislikable person for you, they are just easy to not attend to: could be someone you see infrequently 
  5. Within this gentleness, understanding that this person has all of the longings for love and attention that we do. Wishing them well: May you be self and well (pause;) May you be peaceful (pause;) May you live in ease and in kindness (pause.)
  6. If you become bored, recognize this is the same suffering that goes with the indifference towards the person. You may consider the intention fo metta towards yourself: 

    May I be self and well (pause;) May I be peaceful (pause;) May I live in ease and in kindness (pause.)

    III. The difficult person 

    1. We all have situations with people that are bothersome to us, and we can become avoidant; these situations and people may activate such states as anger, fear, guilt, impatience, disappointment, dejection, anxiety 
    2. We need to work with these unpleasant aversive states because if we allow for action the consequences can be devastating. 
    3. Sometimes the aversion is directed inwardly, ie guilt and sometimes outwardly, anger
    4. Anger and guilt are disconnecting: no love there;  we are usually in absorbed into the sense of self; fixated, deluded, tunnel vision, revenge and harm 
    5. We can see this suffering in the world 
    6. If we can see this as suffering that can help; we are actually angry at people’s anger not necessarily them
    7. So when we and others are angry we are suffering  
    8. On the practical, physical level, we decide how close we wish to be with them 
    9. The difficult person may occupy our thoughts, and we will have to continue to deal with them 
    10. And as people we can be more of an aversive person, perhaps with anxiety, perhaps with avoidance 
    11. These difficult people cause us pain and we can close our heart via anger or fear
    12. We learn to protect ourselves through understanding with wisdom, and opening ourselves with the intention of metta towards our fear and aversion 
    13. Metta not about changing someone: more about how we are changing how we relate to someone and then the relationship may change 
    14. We also need to say no to others yet do that with the intention of metta 
    15. Sometimes the preoccupation, the trance of “the other” is very strong and we can use Metta as a concentration practice to break a trance 
    16. Then we can explorer the body’s reaction to the aversion 
    17. We use metta if we are aversive to ourselves. With issues of the past, can we bring kindness to the memories and emotions associated with the memories?
    18. We can ask ourselves :”What is Our Struggle?” “Why are We Struggling?”                                               “Our friends show us what we can do; Our enemies show us what we must do” Goethe 


    IV. Guided Meditation Metta for the Difficult Person; 

    1. Finding a position of alert relaxation

    2. Reflecting on a situation that is easy to activate the intention of metta: the gladdening experience, the benefactor or a friend.

    May you be self and well (pause;) May you be peaceful (pause;) May you live in ease and in kindness (pause.)

    1. And having the intention of metta on yourself: May I be safe and well (pause;) May I be peaceful (Pause;) May I live in ease and in kindness (Pause.) 

    2. Now considering a person the you have some challenging feelings with. Considering them sitting close to you. Wishing them well: 

    May you be self and well (pause;) May you be peaceful (pause;) May you live in ease and in kindness (pause.)

    1. Finding the emotions arising that are challenging, considering turning the intention of metta on yourself. Exploring the edges of the discomfort: 

    May I be safe and well in the midst of this (Pause;) May I be peaceful in the midst of this (Pause;) May I live with ease and with kindness in the midst of this (Pause.)  

    1. Understanding that the person that you directing the intention of metta towards is alos suffering. 

    2. Being patient with yourself if you are having challenges with directing the intention of metta towards this difficult person

    3. If the intention of metta for the difficult person continues to be unsettling, having the willingness to step back to the easier intention of metta for the gladdening, the benefactor or the friend.