Foundations of Meditation, Loving Kindness, Class III, August 2024, notes:
I. Review and tonight:
- What we are here to do tonight is a more deeper dive into the suffering process and how we use mindfulness and loving kindness to alleviate ourselves of suffering
- Suffering is happening when the mind is lost in greed or strong desire, hatred or ill will, delusion or confusion. We could say the mind is running towards an experience, running away from experience or running in confusion and knows not where to go.
- Becoming lost and obsessional is a habit of the mind. When the mind is in this place, we are mentally separated from others.
- Our strategy is the effort needed to recognize and accept our patterns of this suffering and then come back to a healthy intention such as mindfulness or lovingkindness.
- Week III:
- Looking closer, our suffering is some threat, (people, places, things: PPT) based on fear or anxiety. Then the mind launches into thought, and more fear and anxiety.
- This activates aversion, and we try to rid ourselves of this threat, often blaming self or others (pushing away.) There are other ways to get rid of threats such as chronic business or other compulsions such as drinking.
- The more we stay in aversion, the more thinking and emotions are dominant. Often aversion is an illusion. The illusion that if others or myself improve then I will be happy. Or when we say “you made me mad,” blaming.
- Our western “culture of the individual;” leads to perfectionism; because we are never perfect, we feel shame when we make a mistake; our culture does not believe in pain; this leads to self judgment and leads to a sense of separation, fear, aversion. In our isolation we create “the other.”
- Then we are endlessly trying to do more to be enough. We also try to protect our happiness; leading to aversion when it is threatened; this makes it hard to acknowledge others and their suffering.
- This is called obsessing, or a narrative. This hate and aversion may produce guilt, shame and separation. Unless we have a strategy for releasing this toxic energy, it stores itself in the mind. When we have a similar experience, these thoughts and emotions repeat themselves. This stored emotional memory for future reference is called karma. This internal loop is called samsara.
- Aversion is an energy dump. LK is energy efficient.
- Honeyball discourse: whatever we dwell upon becomes the shape of the mind.
- “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is in pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” Alan Wilson Watts, “The Wisdom of Insecurity”
- With mindfulness, we examine what is happening now in the mind? Is there a sense of separation from others and experiences or less separation from others and our experience? We can wake up to this emotional obsessional energy. We deliver metta to ourselves, deliver the cool, calm connective energy to metta to ourselves in the midst of toxic thoughts and emotions.
- All mental activity such as thoughts, emotions and moods have a manifestation in the body. We can bring metta to the place in the body where the aversion is manifesting.
- Buddha’s Quote on loving yourself :”You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
- Fear and aversion can also lead us to insights into our suffering. How the mind creates meaning out of experience. The illusion that if others or myself eradicate mistakes then I will be happy. Ex: me with friends who have wealth.
- In meditation practice, when we are in this place of obsession, we are taking what happened personally. We begin by understanding how we fabricate a sense of identity, we call this process selfing. We do this pretty consistently, and meditation can help us tease this out.
- Story from “Super Joy” Paul Pearsall : p8 (Pearsall, P. Super Joy. Bantam. New York. 1990)
- “Understand that Metta is not an emotion but an attitude, commitment and intention. It can run alongside these emotions of anger, anxiety etc Metta is not an idealized state that is free from unpleasant mental states. We are befriending our sadness and self judgment, treating these states with kindness. Through the process of befriending the pain we heal the pain’s health which means whole.” Christina Feldman
- Assignments: 1) Be kind 2) Meditate 3) Use Lovingkindnesss Meditation to soften toward your aversion 4) Read p27-44 “Boundless Heart” buy Christina Feldman
Guided Meditation:
Transcript: Befriending Oneself: In the Body; A Guided Meditation on the Use of Lovingkindness and the Body to Alleviate Suffering
This is Andy Quinn, and I am with the Lakeland (Florida) Insight Meditation Group.
Credit Christina Feldman and her book “Boundless Heart.”
Settling. Relaxing. Poised posture. Practicing three long inhalations, exhalations, and giving little more on the exhalation. Setting an intention for yourself in this practice period.
Beginning to attend to the breathing with gentle attention. Attending this body breathing. Consider gentle attention in the chest just beneath the sternum.
With the breathing in the background, beginning to reflect on a gladdening experience. This may be a recent encounter with a person where you felt warmth, gratitude or friendship. Or this could be a recollection of the benefactor, a source of inspiration or love towards you. Dwelling in any arising energy from this encounter.
We will be using a modified body scan. As we move through the body, give each area about 30 seconds to a minute of gentle attention for about 30 seconds and then move to the next area. If the area is unpleasant, we are going to give a little more metta here.
Slowly beginning to scan your body from the top of the head to the toes. If you come upon an area, whenever there is tension, tightness or unpleasantness, stop here. Touching these sensations with a gentle curiosity.
Moving your gentle attention to explore the edges of these unpleasant sensations. Sensing what it is like to be near the unpleasant sensations with mindfulness and gentleness.
Wishing this area well
May I be safe and well in the midst of this
(Pause)
May I be peaceful within this body
(Pause)
May I rest with ease and kindness in this moment
Continuing to move your attention through the body, sensing the places in your body that are at ease, often the palms of your hands or the touch of your lips. With mindfulness stand near those pleasant sensations that are free from distress.
As you come upon any blank areas, stay there for some time. Giving these areas gentle mindful attention.
Noticing if there is any tendency of the mind to react to any arising emotional or mental pain with tightening, contracting and even self judgment. Bringing gentle attention with metta to yourself. Bringing gentle attention with metta to the part of the body where this pain is expressing itself. If there is any tightening around the paint, bringing gentle attention with metta to the tightening.
May I be safe and well in the midst of this
(Pause)
May I be peaceful within this body
(Pause)
May I rest with ease and kindness in this moment
Also noticing the tendency of the mind to wish to possess pleasant sensations. Continuing to practice mindfulness around the sensations, and more determination to practice the intention of metta.
Beginning to acquire knowing the possibility of peaceful coexistence between pain and wellness.
If the mind is overwhelmed with judgment, harshness, returning to the gladdening practice and the body breathing.
“If you are seeking, seek us with joy For we live in the kingdom of joy.
Do not give your heart to anything else
But to the love of those who are clear joy,
Do not stray into the neighborhood of despair.
For there are hopes: they are real, they exist –
Do not go in the direction of darkness –
I tell you: suns exist.”
Rumi
with kindness!
Andy
